Dealing With the Loss of a Dog: An Expert Guide - Petful (2024)

Petful is reader-supported. As an affiliate of platforms, like Amazon, we may earn a commission when you buy through links on this page. There is no extra cost to you.

Have you thought about what you want to do when your dog dies?

Even if your dog has been enduring a long illness, and death is inevitable, nobody is truly prepared. More often than you would think, people haven’t given any thought to what they want to do with their dog’s body.

In as gentle a way as possible, I let them know they don’t have to decide immediately if they haven’t given it any thought, or if it’s an untimely death. This often brings them a little relief in the midst of deep despair. Most veterinarians can store a body for a period of time.

I tell my clients to go home, talk to their family, and call me when they are ready. They have to mull over the following 3 choices.

Is it legal?
Legal in New York City, illegal in Los Angeles — and lots of different laws in the middle. I serve so many towns that I don’t even know what all the health department’s rules and restrictions are.

I suggest to my clients that they check with their town, but I let them know — wink, wink — that law enforcement does not have hidden cameras in their backyards. In other words, I doubt anyone is watching you and what you’re doing with that shovel unless you have a neighbor who has it out for you.

That being said, it’s important to use a lot of common sense when digging a grave.

Place a marker, a paver, or a shrub.
You memory may not serve you well if you had your ceremony in October and there’s still 1 foot of snow in that area in March. You can always find the perfect stone or memorial later, but make sure you mark the grave.

Along with a marker, I plant daffodils if it’s fall and perennials if it’s spring or summer.

What about long winters?
Here in Massachusetts, we get an early and long winter. If my patient dies in the heart of winter, I can usually offer to keep the dog in my hospital freezer until the spring thaw. This may sound a bit creepy, but most clients can’t thank me enough.

When the snows are long gone, on a beautiful sunlit day with tulips blooming, they can arrange to pick up the body and have their burial service at home.

Your vet can help you with the dog burial services in your area.

It’s important to get a good reference because some people in the dog business are, put simply, disreputable. A legitimate pet cemetery exists on dedicated land, meaning that land cannot be used for any other purpose but a pet cemetery.

I have been working with one, and only one, pet cemetery and crematory since 1988. I recommend you find a pet cemetery/crematory with a long and reputable track record.

If a cemetery has the proper licensing, this means your pet is buried on their dedicated land without an individual marker. A memory wall is usually available for you to add a memorial to your pet. This option is much less expensive.

To put gruesome fears to rest, if you are dealing with a reputable pet burial service, they do what they say they do. You don’t have to worry that your pet will end up in a landfill. As a veterinarian, I get asked this question frequently.

Many of my clients opt for pet cremation because it just feels right to them.

Some people have no emotional need to have their ashes returned. They tell me their memories are what they want to hold on to, not ashes.

Other people will sacrifice to pay for a private cremation and have their pets’ individual ashes returned.

Put your fears to rest.
This is how it works when you’re dealing with an ethical crematory: Every week, my hospital gets a visit from Angel View, the same familiar truck, the same drivers.

My technician oversees that each individual body, properly labeled, gets logged in with the Angel View driver. Spellings of names are checked, and the bodies are sent off with dignity.

In about 1 week, ashes are returned in a beautiful fine wood box, with a certification letter stating the name of the human and dog. If you’d like to be present during an individual cremation, you may do so.

I’ll be brief: I think this is strange.

But for those of you who want to look at your dog as some manifestation of living room art, these services are available.

Some taxidermists decline these jobs, but others do specialize in the service and charge $800–1,800 depending on the size and work involved.

Losing a dog can be a devastating time in your life, and it can be difficult to talk about your dog’s death with family, friends, and children.

Now that you have made the final arrangements, Petful editor Kristine Lacoste offers this list of 10 ways to memorialize your dog:

Urns are a popular choice to store your dog’s remains if they are cremated.

Urns come in varying sizes depending on the animal, and they are available in various materials. Some are eco-friendly for ashes distribution while others are made of wood, marble, metal or ceramic, and there are many designs to choose from.

Headstones, grave markers, and pet garden memorial stones offer unique and custom designs.

Most of these come in granite, marble, or stone, but there are additional options as well as choices of 3D shapes, ground stakes, and plantable bones.

Plaques can be created to be placed on items that are not able to be engraved.

Some of these are placed on stands while others are adhered to urns, boxes, and other types of memorial containers. Most companies offer engraving, and some can even have your dog’s picture on the engraving (done from a photograph).

You can apply window decals to windows or other smooth surfaces and customize them.

While some people may list the dog’s name or dates on the decals, others may choose to go with “I miss my Pug” or “Honk if you love Huskies,” so the creative options are there for you to choose something you are comfortable with displaying.

Viewing photos of your deceased dog can help in the grieving process, and there are many options online to upload your photos into a print book or album.

Some services offer custom covers, lettering, and a variety of material options.

Gather your family around and go through your dog’s pictures. Let each person select afavorite and add captions or stickers. Maybe let it be a timeline — for example, from puppyhood to bigin the blink of a dog walk.

A custom work of art can be a beautiful way to display your dog.

There are services and artists that can create a beautiful painting or graphite sketch of your dog for display. Custom or handmade work is usually more expensive, but it will be unique.

Many types of jewelry are able to be customized with your dog’s information or photograph, and some are designed to hold a small amount of your dog’s ashes to keep them with you always.

Jewelry types range from pendants and charms to actual paw print and nose print engravings on gold and silver.

Perfect Memorials offers a variety of high-quality, thoughtful memorials for a deceased dog. Each piece is customizable or engravable for a one-of-a-kind memorial.

We love their Paw Print Infinity pendant, which you can personalize by tucking in a small portion of cremated remains or a lock of hair. You can engrave your dog’s name on the jewelry.

Another way to honor and remember your dog or celebrate its life is by holding a memorial service.

This can be as simple as having the family plant a tree in the backyard to a full service inviting friends and family to a church, park, or garden.

A beautiful, shady spot outside is the perfect place, according to Petful writer Karen Doll. She buried her dog Pip, wrapped in his Scooby-Doo blankets, underneath the maple tree in her backyard. She decided to hang a red, bone-shaped wooden sign, emblazoned with “PIP,” from a low branch.

Karen has additional suggestions if you’re considering a memorial service for your deceased dog. She suggests adding some personal touches, such as:

Pretty urns can be a lovely focal point for an indoor memorial. Consider a central location or perhaps a more private spot, such as your bedroom or home office.

Start by choosing a favorite photo to accompany the urn and highlight it in a unique frame. Or begin with an ordinary frame and personalize itby painting it or adorning it with sweet little pet-themed or heart shapes from a craft store. Place your dog’s favorite toybeside the urn to remember the good times you shared.

If your dog wore a special collar, wrap it around the top of the urn for a personal little paw print. Orthink about adding ribbons instead and tie a crafty name tag into the ribbons.

If you have photographs or videos of your dog, you can create a video with those images and add text, music, or whatever you desire.

Some professionals offer this service for around $100.

There are many non-conventional ways people remember their dogs after their deaths.

Some of these include having your dog’s ashes made into a record, putting ashes into a pillow you can hug, getting a tattoo, and creating necklaces from their fur.

Karen shares another excellent suggestion here: Turn the loss of your dog into a donation to a needy cause.

“Animal rescues are always in need of supplies, helping hands, and monetary donations,” Karen says. “When Pip died, I gathered up his bed, his toys, leftover food, winter wear, and rain gear and took it all to the local shelter.”

“The tears shed on the journey to and from felt like Pip was giving me the OK,” she adds.

Clarissa Fallis, a dog trainer who says she was shattered when her service dog, Lynal, was run over by a truck and killed, has some advice for coping with a sudden and unexpected loss.

“Lynal was only 3 and had a long life ahead of him,” she says.

Here, in Clarissa’s own words, are some of the things that helped her for the first few weeks:

I called people I knew would be there for me. On the day of the accident, two of my best friends, my sister, and my boyfriend all came and stayed with me.

No one really knew what to do in such a tragic situation — but just having the continuous support and love that my friends and family gave me helped me feel like I wouldn’t be alone in the grieving process.

My mother took my dog to the vet to be sent out for cremation.

Before he was taken away, I asked the vet if she could clean him up so I could say goodbye. Since my last image of him was of him lying on the road, I knew I needed a better last image.

When my vet called me into the examination room, Lynal was lying flat with a towel draped over his midsection and his head was exposed. I was able to caress his face and kiss him goodbye.

This image was much nicer than what I had remembered.

Even though eating seemed like the most impossible thing for me to do at the time, I was able to keep down small pieces of muffin and hot tea.

I was also lucky enough to receive an Edible Arrangement, which made eating much easier.

If you are having trouble eating while you are grieving, try to find something you can tolerate, and don’t push yourself to eat more than you can handle.

Children can form incredibly close bonds with animals, and their method of coping can vary as much as an adult’s.

Explain the loss of a dog in a way your children can understand for their age and religious beliefs. They may be scared, blame themselves, or experience anger or guilt:

If the person who lost a dog is a parent or senior, they may need extra attention from friends and family to help with the grieving process.

Losing a dog can also trigger depression in older adults and bring about thoughts of their own mortality.

This can be especially true for someone who lives alone and lost their only dog. Try to check in on this person often, offer support, and encourage them to reach out to a support group.

Offer ideas such as our list above in case they may help the person deal with the loss.

Getting another dog right away can be a difficult decision.

Focusing on another dog may seem like a fast way to get over your dog’s death, but it can also prevent you from properly grieving. This may make your grief worse when it surfaces and may make it difficult for you to be around the new dog.

“Because Lynal was my service dog, I knew I needed another dog,” says Clarissa. “I ended up adopting a young female Chihuahua/Miniature Pinscher mix who I named Addisen. She fit the personality needed to be a good psychiatric service dog, and her goofy big ears made me smile.”

Clarissa advises that if you do decide to get another dog right away, don’t get the same breed, gender or size of the dog you just lost.

“I still grieve Lynal’s loss and don’t see Addisen as a replacement dog — only a new dog,” she says.

“No animal could replace Lynal in my life — and once I was able to accept that fact, I was able to start creating a new type of bond with Addisen.”

Don’t forget your remaining dogs. Other animals may have been very close to the deceased dog or will sense a change in their environment and inhabitants.

Animals can get depressed and experience sadness, lethargy, and whimpering, and may refuse to eat or drink. They will need lots of love and attention to deal with this period. See our article on holding a wake for your deceased dog at home.

If you have recently lost a dog, allow yourself time to grieve, and don’t feel shy about telling people when you’re ready to talk — and when you’re not.

If you know someone who has recently lost a dog, offer this person a chance to talk about it — or arrange a lunch meeting, bring dinner, or visit with them when you can.