happy anniversary? probably not - Relationships | Forums | What to Expect (2024)

KC1788

so our anniversary is coming up. We have always said quality time together is the best gift to each other so would always book a vacation around our anniversary and just do a nice dinner or something the day of. Once kids came along, the trips haven't been as nice or long but still wonderful because they're spent together as a family. This year we didn't plan anything as husband said it wasn't easy to take time off due to staff scheduling.

anyways, that wasn't a big issue.
so I remind him our anniversary is Monday and he says "let's just do lunch since the baby doesn't go to bed easily without you breastfeeding and we don't want to make it difficult for our babysitter" I agreed. we really only go on maybe 2-3 dates a year so getting out for a meal together is nice, regardless of the time of day. I contact the babysitter and she isn't available to do the afternoon but said she could do late afternoon/evening. Ok. I think of the timing and we can be home in time for bedtime. I tell my husband and he is immediately like "we agreed to the afternoon and doing lunch" . I explained the babysitter can't do that but it's no problem because we can easily be home by bedtime. well apparently the Stanley cup playoffs are on Monday night and he didn't tell me that was the actual reason he wanted to do lunch. I tried to compromise and say we could go somewhere that has tvs so he could still watch it. not good enough/it's too distracting. He wants to watch at home where he won't be bothered by other people. I told him our anniversary should be more important than a hockey game and he told me not to do this to him and that he would resent me forever if I didn't let him watch the game. I explained the situation to the babysitter and she said she could come over tomorrow instead. Fine. it doesn't feel as special because now I know the truth. I'm just feeling super annoyed that this hockey game is more important than spending quality time on our anniversary together. The deception and priorities really bothers me. had he told me the game was on Monday but that he still wanted to do dinner (because I'm more important to him!), I probably would have really appreciated the sacrifice so much so that I would have spoiled him and insisted we not go out but rather I pick up takeout and beer for him to enjoy the game in peace while I entertain the kids elsewhere. But because it's such a big deal and he refuses to miss it or even watch in a public place where at least I could enjoy a nice meal, I just feel like I'm not a priority. I don't know, are my expectations too high? would this hurt your feelings too? (also, I don't care about hockey and don't get his obsession so I have no interest in watching the game)

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